DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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