i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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