At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
