I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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