And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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