new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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