After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
