The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
