we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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