I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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