I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
