New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
