she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
