He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
