im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
