listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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