Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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