u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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