he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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