I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
