every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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