I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
