I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
