just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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