I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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