I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
