I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
