i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
