shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
