i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
