So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
