My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
