She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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