Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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