I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i love accidental penises.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize