i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
