i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
