Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
