Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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