She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
