franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
