it hurts more in the daytime
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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