so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
