winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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