once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
