Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
