he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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