I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
