It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
