I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
