Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
