u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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