I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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