are you so shy because you have an std?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
