We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
