do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
