I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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