just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We named our party play list daddy issues
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Randomize
