"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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