She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
