I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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