someone owes me an orgasm
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
