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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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