You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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