i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
