do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
