In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
