i think my tv is drunk
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
