I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
