i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
