But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
