Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
