i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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