and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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