We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
