we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
