So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
