I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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