Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
