You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
